


A Price to Pay

by LightOfTheLucii



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Accomplice Ending, M/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-11 08:04:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4427717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightOfTheLucii/pseuds/LightOfTheLucii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If Yu had a shadow, he knows what it would tell him.  And even so, the guilt that tears through him is better than being alone...right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Price to Pay

**Author's Note:**

> Based on The Golden Animation OAV "Thank You Mr Accomplice." It always bugged me that the anime had Yu burn the letter in December, it just made him into an asshole since he KNEW Adachi was the killer but deliberately didn't tell the rest of the IT even though he still had 3 MONTHS before he left Inaba, as opposed to having doubts but being unsure Adachi was really the killer as he had no proof - as happened in Golden the game. What could justify him acting like that?

Yu was lucky.  

 

He had never faced his Shadow.  Chie had said it was because he was an open guy, but Yu knows that's not the truth.  Is it because he already knows what his Shadow would say?  He isn't happy, but it is part of himself and he hates it but it's him, all him.  His Shadow would be like Mitsuo's, perhaps.  Empty.  Too afraid of being alone, fearing being abandoned and left behind.  The bonds he made in Inaba will shatter as soon as his train pulls away in March, he feels it.

 

So the guilt is almost a welcome change from being empty.

 

Almost.

 

It gnaws at him, distracting him.  His friends notice.  Of course they do.  They just assume it is down to his fear for Nanako's health.  She's still in hospital.  Teddie is still missing.  Marie disappears too, not long after a day where he deliberately destroyed not just a letter but any chance of this ending well.  The fog grows deeper, as if it is feeding off his despair and rage and grief and guilt.  The fog is his own monster perhaps.

The meetings at Junes grow less frequent, last shorter.  Yukiko is busy at the inn, and both Rise and Kanji help out at home too.  Chie only shows out of loyalty to the group.  It's only really Naoto and Yosuke who still have any drive left.  Naoto, with her keen mind and nagging sense that something is off, a vital clue that's missing and nags at her detective pride.  Yosuke with his desire to catch Saki-senpai's killer and the knowledge that Nametame isn't guilty, his desire to make up for what almost happened.  Yu no longer speaks at the meetings much.  He wants to.  He does.  It would be so easy.   _I know who the killer is._  He can almost imagine the words forming on his tongue.   _I know who it is and I'm sorry.  I helped him.  Please, let me explain._  It would be a gross betrayal.  No.  It already is.  Yosuke would hate him.  They all would.   _  
_

So he keeps quiet, heart breaking but part of him is glad.  They have no idea.  His bonds are safe.  He hasn't been back to the Room since that day, but he can sense the power of the mutated social link.  No longer a mischievous Jester.  But Hunger, raw and dark.  How fitting.  He hasn't fused any new Personas since then, but he can imagine it.  A twisted version of Izanagi perhaps, much like the killer is a twisted mirror of himself.  His other Shadow. 

 

His uncle is discharged from hospital soon after.  He isn't home much though.  Either at the hospital or at work.  It suits Yu just fine.  He doesn't deserve his real family.  He's left to his own thoughts, and he's sure he'll go mad.  But it's what he deserves.

 

A knock at the door.

 

He feels guilt churn through him, already knowing who it is.  Yet the anticipation is worse.  Yes.  He craves it and he hates himself for it.  This is the price he paid to guarantee he won't be alone.  That someone can see his true self and know.  Accept, even.

Adachi tsks as he opens the door, scolding him for keeping him waiting in the cold, that goofy grin at odds with his words.  Holds up the bag from Aiya with as much pride as if he had made it himself.

They eat.  Adachi makes small talk, Yu gives one word answers.  They both know why Adachi is here, and it isn't just for a chit chat.

They screw.  Adachi fucks him from behind on the floor, unrelenting.  One hand on his hips, the other on his wrists, trapping him.  There's no love here, only need and lust and Adachi's addiction to knowing he has power over him.  It feels good, just letting Adachi use him.  It's so wrong, but every thrust, every depraved word that Adachi spews at him, even the way he  is forced to beg and plead for more, for Adachi to show mercy and bring him to climax is arousing, delicious and he can't stop.  He won't stop, not now.  He's Adachi's accomplice now.  He's Adachi's new favourite toy.  Adachi thinks up new games almost every time they meet.  The first time was taking Yu in the police station, Yu's eyes fixed on the paper still smouldering in the ashtray the whole time.  The third time was getting Yu to drag out the clothes from the beauty pageant, and Adachi calls him a beautiful girl, so needy.  So cheap, easy.   The fourth time was when Adachi first had him in Dojima's house, his uncle snoring upstairs, only Adachi's tie gagging him muffling his cries.  The fifth time was when Adachi held his gun to Yu's head the whole time, and for the first time he felt afraid.  Didn't stop him crawling back for more though.

 

March.

 

Tonight is the last night in Inaba.  The fog is even thicker.  Nanako is still in hospital, Teddie and Marie are still missing and Nametame is still awaiting his trial.  He goes to Adachi's apartment.  No bento boxes this time.  Adachi warmly welcomes him in, and for one moment he can fool himself it was all just a nightmare, a twisted dream.  That Adachi was who he really thought he was. Until Adachi's grin slides into something more sinister.  He says no, but he doesn't resist, not really.  He can't.  Not when Adachi has him pinned up against the wall, grinding his knee into Yu's crotch and biting his neck with possessive need.  All night long, Adachi takes him over and over. On the floor, against the wall.  The kitchen table.  Everywhere but the bed.  Only stopping when Yu almost passes out when Adachi's grip is too tight around his neck.  He staggers back to Dojima's, eyes blurry and stinging from the tears or the fog, he can't tell.  Dragging himself back a step at a time.  But it's what he deserves.

 

It feels wrong yet right,  he can't pull away.  Not now.  Adachi has a hold on him.  

 

There are times when he thinks the guilt is almost worth it.  

 

He's not alone any more.  And his phone buzzes in confirmation, a distraction from the train speeding him away from the scene of the crime.

 

Not alone.


End file.
